Why angry? Chill and relax...

It's a pretty normal day today, I woke up at 2P.M. Then I played the computer till my dad wanna scan and print something, therefore I helped him with the computer. Then I think he wants to do it his way. In the end I was little pissed but I did not show it out, finally he scolded me saying that he hate my attitide. I don't know what he wants man! This sucks! He just keeps on scolding and nagging like a woman...! I am really pissed this time, I could not cool down anymore. Then he keeps on whamming on stuffs, this shows what great attitude he has! Anyway, just now tired reparing the printer then I fouind out the reason why it broke down, there was something blocking the ink moving thing area. But it is too late the printer has already gone haywire...

Print,print,print...

Went back school yesterday to confirm that I am going back school the comming year. I thought it was something really important and formal but in the end it turn out to be something really informal, should have taken bus or train instead of the taxi so I wasted $6.30. After that I went for a karoke session...It was real embarrassing at first but it went ok in the end. Finally activated my computer by calling, and also installed the new print-scanner. It is really neat...

Gone all gone

Christmas dosen't feel like Christmas anymore...Don't have the nostalgic happy feeling, the feeling of love,peace,joy and hope. I wonder what is missing thsi year...Maybe my fourth aunt is not present this year or lack of preparations or just the atmostphere. Anyway this Christmas I got a Epson print-scanner, and almost a digital camera. Soon very, I am getting one,I think I am getting either DSC-M1 or DSC-T3 or DSC-V3 cybershot sony digital camera probably on my birthday...Anyway I wonder what is my tone chatting online...Mean or Rude? I don't mean it, I am not good with words, you can just call me stupid. Sometimes too busybody too asking too much , I asked my ex-calssmate where she's going and all the others...Hope they understand I'm not trying to compare or what I am just curious...Felt really happy giving out my presents to my cousin and aunt and also reciving, hope they will enjoy what I gave them. Going for Chinese New Year shopping tomorrow, getting a yukata or a kimono for a change. Going to sleep now can't stand it any much longer. Guten Nighto!~

The Agitator

Today, is a pretty normal day...Sims the whole day. At night went out with Dad to Parkway Parade since it is the nearest place which sells many stuff. I got my eyes on the Sony digital camera DSC-M1 but it was almost for $1000, so no way my parents are gonna get me that digital camera, plus my Dad keeps on wanting to get cheaper prices...So I guess I may not get a digital on Christmas day probably next year, so I asked him to internet connection...He keeps on saying that I would over use, turn out of control and keep on downloading stuffs and all that and soon spoil the computer and all...Blaming me for this and that, but the truth is that the computer did not break down because of virus infection or I spoil the system.Then I asked him why he like agitating people but luckily this time I said in a cool tone I did not lose my cool yet but still compressing my anger. Thank the Lord for helping me through this part. The actual reason that my computer broke down because the power supply is isn't working and lastly reminded him about this. The funny part is that he also got a part int he downloading thing, he download lots of useless crap wasting the memory. He likes to complain and talk about people's flaw and see himself as a flawless person but the truth is he isn't perfect at all. I am not saying bad things about him or what I am stating the fact, my mum is also pissed with this because this happened many times.

Today is another normal day for me...Nothing special...But today is a special day for me, I believed in the Lord. I got all my doubts and unanswered questions answers and finally all my prayers are also answered too. Death,God,God's existance, the people, the faith and hell. Today I felt something I never felt before in my whole life(except for the four years ago from today), I am re-written in the book of life...I am officially Lord's Child, my years of prayers finally paid up. Now I am no more afraid of death, death has been something which really really scares me when I am thinking of it. I used to think that I live in this earth with temporary existance, when death comes and take me it is just like a full stop after every last page of the book, nothing and nothing comes after it. Anyway, I went to a Christmas Party at my Dicken's house he sorta enlightened me and put my faith in Lord back in. When I entered his house I felt really bliss and peaceful...After repenting my sins and all that I felt like a new person again...I felt those 'things' are gone when I went home...Because I grew up in a 'abnormal' family that is why I felt seasoned and not feared all along. Now all those bad thoughts and evil stuff are like really gone I felt really purified now, no words can really explain my feeling now...

It's a Miracle

Got back my very important exam result...You know what I just passed how lucky am I...Now I really know the importance of studying, but the thing that I think that is really stupid is that we study just to earn that stupid papers and took so long to learn everything! In the end we die everything is gone, we came came totally naked and go totally naked. I know the paper could bring us jobs, but I still feel very weird about it. Been really blaming myself these days for this and that especially the exam thing. Some of the girls cried after getting back their results, this is expected. I went to get my result I felt I'm ready I am totally prepared till, when the teacher started calling the people to get their result, I kind burst into cold sweats I really freaked out...I guess no matter how prepared am I will be still scared about it. When my ex-form teacher congrads me on promoting, I felt totally stunned. Guess next year I am gonna be really really very very isolated, Jack S will be going to Australia for his studies, Muii is outta school the other guys will be outta this school too...They are the only friends that I am close to in school. What am I to do? Anyway this year my class has 17 pupils(interesting right?) and guess what next year there will be only 6 promoting(which includes me) and therefore the others will either be retaining or going to some other collages. So my so called class now will be merging with the class I hated the most, the people there suck big time...So next year there will be probably about 38 or 40 + pupils in the new merger class. And the thing which made me really happy about is the principal which I really disliked is transfering to other school YAY! Don't have to listen to crappy assembly talks which is so freaking boring...



Guess what, I still do have feeling for that guy. I felt a little jealous and a mixture of sadness and hopelessness when I found out that the girl somewhat got close to him...Feeling really tired about this stiuation...Really tired...My friends tells me to confess it but I really just can't, just think of the consequences and the feeling of rejection...I hope I am born without feelings, just like a cold blooded thing...I really hurts you to love someone, it hurts alot alot...



Hey really tired here I only slept for four hours today, so thats all I have for today I am going for hibernation now...Au Revoir...

The Future

Going to get my results soon...Feeling neither exicited or scared, maybe because I am already know that I would fail the exam and make my parents very very disappointed. The fact is that now I am kinda freaked out, thinking about the future. Whether I am going to be rich or poor, useful or totally useless in this society. I'll just hope that I could find a job that I will be able to take care of myself and my parents, not letting them have a hard time later in life...Now thinking about it I know whether I can do that. You know what...I feel like crap now, better knowd trash.Totally useless and worthless only fit to be in the trash cans, something that could only add up to poullution.

Random Craps...

Hey...I'm back...I did not go anywhere in this holiday I meant travel ya just to Pulau Ubin but it is still an island in Singapore so it's not counted although I have to get there by boat. Went there to cycle with some of my relatives...Damn there were wild dogs and monkeys, scared me a little because I feared that they back 'stab' you when your not looking. Weekdays, I stay at home playing The Sims 2 the whole day, sometimes even saturday and sunday too...Soon I think I may turn blind serious! Now my eyes are kinda tired and my left eye is itching. And I think soon I would need to get a pair of glasses or contact lenses.My left eye could not see as properly as my right eye...Hopefully I not going blind or what so ever,damn I am really freaked out...I am getting weird these days I'm just like a vampire, but I am not dead,not fair and dosen't suck blood(But I do like the tiny little bit taste of blood,I am little 'sick' I know).Is it that I just do not want to sleep or I can't sleep?. I missed my friends Kiki, Zimah, Muii, Ilario, Jack 'S', Hurricane a.k.a Muii's Lao Da(Jasper), Eddie Guerro(Jia Ping), Randy(Hou Yun) & Eugene(Lenz) and the good old days, and I also miss my cousin too. By the way I don't miss any other people I did not mention here because I have not many friends anyway and the others don't really treat me as a friend I guess although sometimes they lend me their stuff and I lend them my stuff, these are only on the surface, they are not the people who let me feel welcome, yet let me feel ignored and left out and also lost.I am not being sensitive or what this is what I really felt because they made me right? People say I am sensitive, am I? I guess I don't wanna know, as long as I have a handful of friends it is enough.The thing I feared the most is, the friends I cared and cherish the most don't really give much thought about me.Or am I being too sensitive? Or I did not put enough effort to make it work? Or am I not good enough,nice enough,friendly enough,funny enough,fun enough,outgoing enough,wise enough,knowledegeable enough,witty enough,interesting enough,unique enough,cool enough,beautiful enough,pretty enough,adorable enough,great enough to be cared to be cherished...I asked myself these questions lots of times.Most people are like in my aquaintence department as I mention last time, like The Sims...Aquaintence,Friends,Best Friends,Crush,Steady,Love,Enemy...This makes me think if I have any enemy, I think I do not have any...I just dislike people ya not like hate or something just plain dislike.Because either they are not being themselves or they have problems with their attitude. And another thing I don't know why people like calling themselves BITCH, bitch means a female dog,something low down than human why they want to be that or want to be call as that? I would be pissed to be called that, like Jack always call like calling me that and I hate it! Although I know he called me that for fun. Okay I think I am done here with my theories of some craps and shits, waiting for my mask to dry so I can hop of to sleep. ~End~

Islands

Nothing much happened today, but last week's saturday my relatives and I went to Pulau Ubin for cycling. It was quite interesting and quite fun but was very beat up in the end...There were many up hills, dogs and monkeys...I guess I burned some calories, but gained some more. Ate alot of sea food after cycling. Ok cut the crap and straight to the point...I made a 'amazing' discovery, my cousin's classmate cum friend had a crush on me*sweats*(Is it all right to post it here?)...Weird...Never knew people would crush on me, yeah there was like about almost 5 times and this is the 6th...This rarely happen, anyway My aunt tells me to consider it*sweatsx2*...My ideal guy is at least 170 cm and above, tan, adorable,quiet and mysterious type and of course with other great personalities...Hey I am picky ya...That is why till now I still could not find my first love...Hmmm...I guess I think too much already...Anyway yesterday I saw my primary school friend and classmate at Parkway Parade, hmmm...he is still the same size color and hair style except he now wears a pair of spectacles and I saw his brother he is also wearing spectacles, his brother looks exactly like him but much more adorable, more of kawaii...Anyway, I'm tired now...Better get some sleep maybe I would blog tomorrow...*Proof* ~End~