Toasted...

I guess, I will be in deep shit, super toasted + dead meat tomorrow...I did not take my art preliminary exam as I know I am gonna flunk it because I did not do the prepartory work and I have lost the exam paper. And also because due to the canvas work I did not have enough time to prepare for anything.. So anyway today I gave myself a break I did not go to school, and I came over to my aunt's house. After chatting with my classmate "Randy Orten" he said that the teacher in-charge Mr Ong shouted and scold at some of my classmate although he anyhow do the paper, then those did not take art went to the library to talk to the vice principal about going to Sec 5 or to ITE and also to call up parents to sign some optional form thing. Today, I almost "fainted" hearing this....What do I do? Geez all my fault, I guess tomorrow my parents will be real angry with me with what I do. I hate myself for what I have done, I am really stupid repeating this stupid history again and again...But not exactly same history. Argh! Whatever...Tomorrow I'll have to face the music...Wish me luck then ok? Although I feel alittle shaky and blah blah...


Oh anyway, my friend Jueru introduced me to a guy...named something something bear bear I guess. I know she's for my good, wanting me to let go of him giving bear a chance as he is also a good guy. But I just can't sorry...But really thanks thanks alot...This show that you care, I am really happy...But i just can't let go, I am just too afraid of the consequences if I really did tell him how I feel.

Flunkin' Season

Trying to reload Ragnarok online reload points,but can't yesterday Don't know what is the problem...Now finally know what cause it not to reload, it's the stupid Zone alarm thing! For the whole day yesterday I wasted my time...And wanted to blog yesterday, because of that can't login to blogger. Anyway this week is my prelims, I guess I flunk it all...Got too much things to do, my classmates and I decided to flunk it together. I guess we did flunk it together but we haven't got back my prelim papers. There was a chinese extra lesson today, I did not went because firstly I can't wake up, secondly I was really too tired to get up. So who cares I don't really depend on chinese to pass my subjects but truthfully chinese is easy to pass but somewhat hard for me...My parents aunts all tell me that it is a disgrace when your a chinese and you dislike it because that is in your blood, because I am chinese. But you can't force me to do what I don't want, I can speak chinese but not good, no it is suck in reading passages aloud, but I can talk quite well or say ok...That is already ok right? Guess now I signing off to play Ragbarok online

Been there..Done that...

Finally...Finished my art pieces, prepartory and canvas. It is a very very very busy day today cutting,pasting,photostating and doing some other stuffs. I think I did a crappy job doing the prepartory card boards, looks like rubbish...I wonder how am I gonna pass my N levels? I hate myself, seriously I haven't put in much effort in what ever I am doing...Prelims already here...gotta be more hard working don't slack, don't waste time, or else I am wasting my life my efforts all these years in my studies.Anyway I found out that I did not bring my bunch of keys with me, I can't go home so anyway I went to my cousin house that why I am here blogging. So I guess that all...Hope to be back soon...

Highs & Lows

Let's see ok...I done painting most part of the canvas only leaving only the background out and I did not do the tonning, brought it back to my home hoping my mum could help me with the others and after putting the canvas at home I went to my classmates' "belated" birthday barbaque...It's ok at first but it became bored after that, I when to sit at the sand alone thinking about my problems, sick of thinking about it I looked at the waves and sky and the lights from the ships,boats and city. Went home after that...My aunt fetch me to and flow so now I thank her here! (Thanks!~) Anyway this all happends all yesterday...Today went out and catch and movie with my aunt and cousin, Spiderman 2...Quite a cool movie with all those CG, great story line too! Oh anyway came home and called my dad and he said he had a misunderstanding with mum...And I also asked about the canvas, as expected nothing is done, but of course it is my duty to finish it up but I needed some help ya? Kinda fed up with my mom, but I think it's very wrong of me...But why? Why you just can't stop saying something, I did not provoke you or make you angry normally...Why you want to dig up the past and talk about it making things more complicated? *Sigh* I don't know why but next time I will live here for the weekends to prevent anymore conflicts and misunderstand, it is also another metal tourture for me...Those words hurt me again and again, I hope that it would not be heard no more...Please stop...I can't take it anymore...

Hmmm anyway, wait for my special someone to come online finally he did, at least it is something it made me happy for a while . Today we chatted more than in the past...Sometimes I feel like an extra...Wanting to tell him how I feel but dared not, again feared to be avoided, *sigh* what can I do? Nothing....

Visual Art Trouble...

A very tiring and busy day, I kept on painting on the same spot on the canvas for a long time...I was really a mistake I shouldn't have done. But all I coud do now is to do as much as possible but the more I think about my art work I feel like a loser. What do I do now? I hate myself for what I have done, why I always have to cry over spilled milk? I am so silly...I guess I will be stuck in this stupid cycle...So I guess now I better scram off and do my art piece and preparetory work before I am in deep deep deep SHIT!