Thanks for the 'present'

I know some of the things I did was wrong...BUT for God's sake I am going to be 17 soon and sooner I'll be 21...I know if stuffs I did was correct or wrong, I know also I need some help on the way too...But you gotta understand me things now are getting more and more complicated...It is not like in the past now, nothing is the same anymore...I know it is wrong of me to go out till so late in the moring but I really had somewhat of a great time with my classmates, just for this time won't you even let me? I know you all have the responsiblity to keep my safe and all but can you give me a little space? Anyway, I love the 'present' gave I am so 'happy' and now I just wanna cry, I hope to receive this shit next year too...You all must as well just forget my birthday...I know I maybe just a birthday nothing much or special it is just a day to remeber that I was borned...Argh who cares...I don't give a shit now...I really dislike my dad I don't know why he constantly wanna find troubles with me...So authoritative...My mum keeps nagging me with exaggerating stuffs...Can't you all just give me a break?

Week's summary

*(This was written at 4:22A.M. +08:00GMT earlier as I was not able to use the computer at that time)
Just came home, done my wash up I'm going to sleep soon. So a summary for what happened this week and today...OK lets start with thursday, there was this guy in my class he was trying to be funny(which is not), shout and scream at the people from other class say they don't belong and all kinds of shit comments which is so f***ing noisy, and he threw a shoe at the person...I did not kow about this till the the fucking shoe hit my head accidentally, it the impact make be go blank and the shoe was like so huge and through the impact it was somewhat heavy. Then everyone looked at me, of course I was so extremely pissed I shouted bloody fuck...At that point I feel like taking my cutter knife and stab him...Then the fucking guy say sorry to me,I just noded my head and you know what he can't still laugh...He continue to say sorry another 2 time later on...What is that for man what is done can't be undone, anyway I won't take the sorry anyway. I pray that he just go rot in hell...

When out to eat dinner with friend earlier on for dinner and movie with classmates to 'celebrate' my birthday...Called my dad whether I could go watch movie, then he as if try to ignore me and answer me with a pissed tone, of couse that time he was pissed saying that I did not tell him that I am going anywhere or what so ever, but I did told him that I went out with my classmates to eat dinner. I think my dad has too much oil clogged in his ear therefore he could not hear it properly... So after we went to the movies,movie was horrendus, instead a horror movie it was like a drama movie...After that it's already 1:25a.m. we walked around Orchard chatting till like 3a.m. then took a Night bus to my home near by and went home...Overall it as quite fun rarely I could be so late at the city area, it was beautiful there...Though there is something I know is about to happen when I go home...Sure enough my mum was awake making lots of loud *hmph* sound...

Hi idiolt typing...

What shit week, first it started out with my bestfriend shit stuff, then some stupid internet problem, shit weather over here so damn f hot, and now best of all the last day of this week I am having some shit conlicts with my mom and now my dad...Everthing is turning upside down...Argh who cares anyway...I just hope I can get some sleep later, deep thoughts always stops me from sleeping making me breaking down I just can't seem to stop them...Shit load of thoughts...

Am I a living joke?

I don't know anymore...It seems that people don't seem to treat me seriously...I'm am like a misfit everywhere I go...I don't know what am I feeling right now...I feel like I am a living joke...I feel like crying my heart out again...This is the second time I cried for her but it is my first to cry for a friend...

Jack just called me...He consoled me...I feel that he's right...My bestfriend is just like a graffit artist after they did their stuffs they just leave their picture behind...She engraved her name in my heart...Although I told myself to break away from her I just did not totally wash her away from my heart and mind. Now I am though with it...There are bitch and bastards in this society so just ignore them and put on a show afterwards tell them to F off...Hmmm majority probably...Hmm or maybe not...

............................................................

I am still playing games, doing nothing and neglecting my studies...What the hell am I thinking? My mid-year exams are comming...There are tests tomorrow, practical exams are comming this friday I am still playing some computer games ...My chinese 'O' level is on the 30th may, and it's about 42 days left to study for my chinese...And I am not doing my homework still......What the hell am I doing and thinking? Why can't I just fight back the sloth which is in me?! Why can't I just make myself do some revision?! I should better give myself a few tight slaps to wake myself up stop living in this kind of pathetic life...I better get going, or else I will be SERIOUSLY regret in the future...

On 27 May my school is having a celebration...Be yourself day and Heart Strings day...We are allowed to wear whatever we like...Hmmm...wear something which show your own personality...I already have a plan what I would be wearing...It's really wicked...I'm keeping it a secret till that day...So stay tunned... :S

J's come back...

Today at art class I continued doing some collage thingy...My friend Jack came back from Aussie, promised to cook some food stuff for him not forgetting some tofus...Together with my mum we whip up 2 dishes...Rain again made the weather much cooling...I love rain and dislike rain...Damn I keep forgetting to hide my scars, pain is addictive...

Updates...

Not much happened for today, went for tuition as usual...I updated lots of stuff on the computer...Msn beta version, Msn plus, Windows Media player 10 and also Windows media player skins...I kept on irritating my friends on the msn buzzing them with msn plus sounds...Yeah thats all...

The run

...Once again this time of the year my school held this running test at this beach...hmm...park...I almost went there late thanks to my dad, I was saved by taking a cab over there and it cost $10.50 which made me super broke currently. So I got there 10 minutes earlier...Look around for my classmates but they are nowhere to be found. Talked to my junoir for a while...Then collected my number which should be pinned on my T-Shirt...Wander around and waited for the run to start...So it finally started, I ran the whole time...Stopped and walked about 3 times to catch my breaths and ran again, this last about less than one minute...Thank God that the weather was really cool and nice...When I was running I feel like burping, weirdly it also feels like as if I gonna throw up. I felt dizzy in the end, I can see this white translucent stuff below my eyes...I felt as if I have lost 10 kilograms.After that I went to eat breakfast with my classmate at Tampines and walked around. Went home, restless and lethargic and feeling alittle bit of a PMS...Used the com till like 4 or 5 PM and when for a nap till like 8PM ate dinner, and now I am here typing again. Gonna go watch tv now...Ciao

Community Involvement Program -> Boring

Got some stupid stupid stupid CIP(Community Involvement Program)...Beach cleaning...More like bitch cleaning...I tried to hide in the shade because it was really really hot but my form teacher made me pick litter in the non shaded area ...Thanks to him I am now darker by one shade...Then after that we sat around to rest, and I bought 2 ice creams and ate it both at once, I am glutton. About 30 mintues later it started to rain, ran to near by shelter then was stuck in it with my classmates...Anyway got out of it somehow and finally return back to my fugly cheapo school. And return home late today about 7:10 PM...Gosh I am getting fatter and fatter...kill me I don't wanna live anymore. Now I am going to rest soon, as I am not getting enough...My eyes are closing in 1 mintue...

Isolation

As usual like every other tuesdays I got four free periods which makes the day short...Art lesson are now getting more and more boring and more isolated... Again I can't blame my 'friend' she got to pay attention to her boyfriend, therefore now I am left aside doing my own stuff...Maybe I am being sensitive again...Or am I not? I did a mistake today...For not going home straight, wasted my time accompanying my 'friends' having lunch which me myself did not eat anything for recess...Then the great thing happened...It started to rain heavily, so we waited for the rain to get lighter...So anyway blah blah this blah blah that I finally reach home and played the computer till mom comes back and nag again and ate dinner. Thats all... -out-

Another boring lazy day...

It was raining for the whole day...Felt very cold blah blah blah not much happen...My life is boring as you can see. I am starting a money saving plan, it is not really a plan...I calculated the total amount of pocket money if I save them all, but anyway I wasted today's savings again...Today is a good day to sleep because it is cold unlike sunny days so hot and stuffy at home, so anyway I slept throught the afternoon...Woke up and ate fried fish noodles for dinner, my mum bought that for me. So anyway now I am trying to sketch and brainstorm some stuffs for my art preparetory, actually I already got a plan of what I wanna paint for my canvas and do for the preparetory, sketching somemore after this. Oh yeah now my dad is little pissed...I don't know about what...Anyway who cares he is always pissed at something without any reasons, even he has he may not tell me and I don't wanna know...Not interested at all...

Nagging is 'Fun'...

Pretty normaly lazy hazy sunday, just that everytime my mum look at me she starts to nag at me about my studies. It has been going on for 1 and a half day...I am going paranoid, and because of this I quarrelled with my mum earlier on...I got fed up and lost my cool...Damn I am so sorry...As usual went for tuition at my guy cousin's house my mother also went...Ignored me the whole time till she went out with my aunts and came back, so anyway I came home yeah mum and dad went for dinner at near by shopping centre. So here I am...

Parent Teacher Interation

Yesterday was parent teacher interation day...Dad was so pissed with me...What every I did he was pissed...As all of you can guess I flunk most of my common test papers...I got free nagging session...So anyway my dad also set a new rule that I could not use the computer later than 10 PM...So lesser time on the computer...It's for my good anyway. Today...hmmm...I woke up at 9:28PM and do the usual, then went to some erm...junk yard? to look at some interesting stuffs. Got bored in the end of course. Then went over to The Heeren to look at some CDs, whoa there is lots of Linkin Park CDs...Love them all! But I am so broke though I am with my mum...My mum will not buy this kind of stuff for me...Everytime I just hear she say she have not enough money and all...Let me work then?! Then why are you controling me to work for not...I am not quiting school and then work right? Argh I don't understand them...Parents are out for dinner now, stay home because I just ground myself. Later I think I will be doing more sketches for my art...Thats all guys...cya