Fears,Sadness and Pain fills me again...

Yesterday morning was really fine, I had a great time with mum...But happiness always does not last for me, it is always temporary...She's a really weird person, somehow she's trying to find stuff to exggerate and make people got outta their limit and get pissed. I cut myself again, I really can't stand the anger...To me cutting myself is a way to release the anger in me. She is also a very weird person, I asked her want to go out about 3-5 times that time she is closing her eyes stonning don't know for what, she should have answered me right instead of keeping quite,so I went to sleep. Maybe next time I should not sleep, my mum also gets pissed if I sleep saying all kinds of shit. But at last we went out peacefully, BUT that peace don't last too. After she done her shopping we went for late dinner, I accidentally forgot to hide the scars she saw and walked of saying and complaining shits. After following her all the way to the taxi lobby of the shopping mall at Plaza Singapura, she gone crazy and cry...Then more complainning and cursing herself, which to me I think it's very very extremely pathetic. So after that she just ask me to go go, go away...go home...like just shoo-ing me away...Feeling hurt, angered I contacted Yenn...I felt so lucky that she's there...She consoled me made me felt much better...Today is the first time I went clubbing, did not really like it because there is lots of cigarette smokes, the flashing lights and most of all I could not dance...I don't mind sitting down drinking stuffs, but please don't ever bring me to the dance floor again...I make a fool of myself at the dance floor. I don't feel like and don't wanna go to tuition tomorrow, feel like why should I go tuition mood...Today everything has turned upside down. What can I say, I was a huge great big mistake to be borned into this world...But somehow I still believe in God...